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Losing the last 35 – day 2

So, started my quest yesterday.  Yes, I know technically I was going to start on my anniversary but I also know that the end of this week will be a road block for getting to the gym so I got a jump start.

As is typical of a Monday, it got off to a rough start.  It was the day after daylight saving time so we all were moving at half speed for the start of the day.  Got to the gym about 7:50.  Did 5.6 miles in about 48 minutes.  No time for weights or situps but did manage to get a little more exercise at noon. 

As for food intake, 4 oz. yogert with strawberries, banana, salad with chicken and raspberries, one package of almonds, and a chicken sandwich on 12 grain bread.  I also split one beer with my friend Janet.

It was a beautiful day (much like the day before my wedding) but the day ended with a great deal of stress.  Went to high school for senior meeting and was confronted with the fact that in 40 school days, Caiti will be graduating from high school.  If that wasn’t bad enough, she and I had a huge fight over “beach week”.  “why can’t I just trust her”…No matter how much I tried to convience her it was not her that I didn’t trust but the hundres (or thousands) of other newly graduated teen — loose with parental supervision for the first time in their lives — that I don’t trust.  My heart hurts for the problems that may insue.  I will continue to push on this…I have no choice.

Today, my heart is heavy.  I miss Kent so much.  He truly was my beloved.  I cannot believe I have been alone for 12 years.  More than any disease or fat buildup, the emotional toil of being without him has done the most damage.  I try to stay focused on the positive but life alone is a loney business.

Getting late, better get the kid’s shirts ironed for school.  Will write again tomorrow!


Lossing the last 35 before I lose my mind!

The happiest day of my life happened 19 years ago.  I was young (relatively…31), healthy and deeply in love.  It was my wedding day and I weighted 130 pounds.  Now, if you are a man, I am certain you have no idea how much you weighed on your wedding day.  It is just one of the inconsequential facts that never cross your mind.  But women, well most women, it is vital important.  Everyone wants to look good on their wedding day, be it your first…or any number after that! 

I have always been rather indiffent to the scale.  I grew up a “pudgey” child.  Pudgey was one of those words used to try to make you feel less bad that you were less than perfect…it never really worked.  By high school, increased height took care of part of the weight, but I still uncomfortable with the way I looked.  (typical)  College brought on the “Freshman”10 but by my mid 20s I was “healthy” in the mid 130 range.  I never exercised, did not watch what I ate, drank too much and slept too little.  (again typical) 

Then I met Kent.  He was older, smarter and it was love at first sight.  I knew the moment I met him I was to marry him.  Well, it took a while to convince him of that fact but when we finally clicked…it was magic.  Neither of us wanted to get married…I was “too young” and he had done that once before to less than wonderful results.  So by 25 I had settled into a comfortable life.  He cooked (he was an excellent cook) healthy meals, we took long walks, we stayed active and weight was the last thing on my mind. 

By 30, life took some twist and turns and Kent moved to Iowa and I stayed here.  My cook was gone and suddenly my weight became an issue.  See, Kent had asked me to marry him and I knew I would soon need to pick out a wedding dress.  So, I joined a gym and basically stopped eatting.  (dumb I know but…).  I also had the stress of planning a wedding and preparing our home to sell.  What ever the combination…stress, motivation or lack of food, it worked.  Like I said, at my wedding I weighted 130 and if I must say so, I looked good!


That was the very last time I saw 130. Two children, the death of my husband and yes, age has taken it’s toll. I been close a couple times but for the most part 130 is weight that has been too far in my rearview mirror.  Until now. 

This is what this blog is about.  I want to get back there.  But, I want to do it right…through diet, exercise and moderation.  My doctor says there is no reason I can’t do it.  My mind tells me I can do it.  Now, it is time to just do it. 

My current weight on 3/12/12 is 165.  Tomorrow is my anniversary and I will start my journey to lose the 35 pounds that I have gained.  It won’t be easy, but I just may learn something about myself along the way. 

I plan to start following a more healthy diet, based mostly on Mediterrian diet.  I plan to work very hard about going to the gym.  I plan to moderate any alcohol intake.  And, mostly, I plan to listen to my body and take better care of it.  I can do this!

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